WHAT?!

What follows is an e-mail I received on Friday at work. I highlighted the "fun parts."

DISTRIBUTION OF SOY ISOFLAVONES STUDY
DO-SOY!

PARTICIPANTS NEEDED!

Healthy male volunteers between 18-35 years of age are needed to
participate in a research study designed to understand the distribution of
soy-derived compounds called isoflavones in the body, especially with
regard to the prostate gland.

Are you?
* Male, between 18-35 years of age
* Approximately normal body weight
* No antibiotic use within the past 3 months
* No history of chronic diseases
* Not allergic to soy foods

If you answered yes to all these questions you may qualify to be a part of
the Do-Soy! Study.

As a participant in the study you will be needed to take an isoflavone
supplement tablet three times per day for a period of 7 days.

In addition to taking the supplement, you will be required to visit the
General Clinical Research Center,[snip] two times during the
study. The visits will be scheduled in the morning and will need an
overnight fast. Each visit will last for 1 hour 1.5 hours. At each visit
we will ask you for a 24-hour urine collection, blood and semen. At the
second visit prostatic secretion will be obtained from you via a prostate
massage. You will be asked to collect urine after the prostate massage.
Trained personnel will perform all these procedures. Participants will be
paid up to $100 for the proper completion of the study. You will also be
asked to keep a record of your diet for 3 days before each study visit.
Detailed information will be provided at the orientation.

Hmm... good thing they have a trained professional for the massage. I wouldn't want one of those amateur prostrate masseurs. I hope they have a good benefits package.